Give us free!!!

Lawd! Jesus! Sweet Baby Jesus...

Looka here-ra...Can we talk? Seriously...Naw...We aint bout to talk...I'm bout to preach...

One of the things I get sometimes from women is HOW to get their hair "curly"...These questions ALWAYS come from the newly nappy or actively transitioning. Oftentimes we get an image in our heads of HOW we want our hair to look without understanding that we need to learn to accept and love what we have...

Sure, I have a TON of products and such listed on this blog, but at the end of the day, I live with the premise of the products aid and enhance what you have...Products are suppose to improve your situation (moisturize, condition, aid in STYLING), NOT create something that's not there in the first place. I don't care HOW much you spend on x,y,z product...This natural hair journey isn't about a cute style or texture...It's about loving and acceptING what God has given YOU...

PREACH REE! I'm tryin'...

So...what do you do...? First...dunk your head in water...When you come out of the water, what do you see? Curls??? Like for real...Don't be pulling out the magnifying glass, either...Yes, well then THERE YOU GO...No, then THERE YOU GO...There's nothing out there that is going to CREATE curls...Well let me adjust that statement...If you pile on like a ton of it, you probably will "make" something happen, but you'll also look like you're rockin' a SERIOUS jherri curl...If you have to use significantly MORE product than what the directions call for, you need to go to jail...Please, stop...

We need to work on LOVING what we've been born with...Embrace what you have been blessed with. I understand that society has totally JACKED us and made us believe that our texture and hair aren't beautiful, but it's up to US to change that perspective...

I've heard it said that the African American community sets the trends for popular culture...Why not hair as well???? I think it has something to do with us...Seriously...If Shaniqua can "Drop it like it's hot" with so much confidence, why can't she ALSO wear her NATURAL crown of glory with the same confidence??? I don't TOTALLY buy the "society did this to me" or "men have devalued women"...We have to take responsibility for ourselves and look in the mirror and start accepting EXACTLY what we see...

We're beautiful...With all of our kinks and coils...We're gorgeous with our 80% shrinkage...We're sexy with our poofs... Be encouraged...Seriously...If this offended anyone...I'm DEEPLY sorry...I'm just telling it like I see it...Love what God has given you...WHATEVER it is...We're fearfully and wonderously made...in PERFECTION...

Let's sing... Come on!!!!!!!!

Product Update!!!

Okay...So a few posts back I posted about trying E'Tae Products. I ordered the Caramel because I got a great recommendation from a girl friend. It came in the mail and I did the treatment...I must say I'm VERY disapointed. I'm not disappointed with the results, I'm disapointed with the product and its cost. Here's why (and I'm not knocking the company at all...I'm just expressing how I feel)...

First off the products ingredients are: Honey, olive oil, bananas, molasses, corn starch, water, vinegar, and wheat germ oil. ALL natural...It gets a perfect 10 for that. BUT $15 for 8oz is reDONKulous. Why? Honestly, it's very similar to the honey/olive oil conditioner that I've posted. Use the same recipe and add some of the aforementioned ingredients, and there you go...SERIOUSLY...It's the same stuff...

I could have made significantly more of this myself at home for the same price. So with some research, I made my own and here's what I did:

Honey 1/2 cup

olive oil 1/4 cup

overripe bananas - 2

molasses 1/8 cup

acv -2 tsp.

Wheat germ oil - 2 tsps

Mash the heck out of the bananas until they look like pudding...You don't want chunks of banana in your hair, so get to mashing...OR get some banana baby food...more expensive, but you don't have to mash...Add the ingredents together and mix until well blended...Put the ingredients in a squirt bottle for ease of application. Part hair into 4 sections and apply. Cover hair with a plastic cap and sit under a heat cap for 30 minutes or so...Rinse well. You can proceed with either a co- wash, Apple Cider Vinegar rinse or sulfate free shampoo...

TAH freaking DAH!!!

Same dang on result...Seriously...

...and don't get me started on the Nutrient product...Got that too...It's mainly vinegar...Just do an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse and you're pretty much good to go...I'm shame I spent $10 on it...I was curious...::ree leaves with head hanging::

Girls Dem Sugar...

Please pop in Beenie Man's "Girls Dem Sugar" for this post and sing along with me...
Zagga zow, ziggy zow, zagga zow.....

(Sim Simma) Beenie Man ah di girls dem sugar(Sim Simma) Di girls dem world class lover...

Okay...that's enough, lol!!!! You know...The cutie patootie I'm showcasing today lives in the Bahamas...I have NO clue if she has a Caribbean accent, but EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I read her posts on Brown and Bridal, I read them with an accent, lol!!!! So, even if you don't Gia...I'mma need you to let me stay in my illusion...thank you very much...

Resume song please...

People...I give you the GORGEOUS....THE NEWLY MURRRRIED, THE TRANSITIONING...GIAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! ::Ree drops mic::

Gia has decided to start transitioning. She's really gung-ho about it too...It's quite refreshing to see her posts about hair, and getting PMs from her are always a joy...She actually LISTENS and takes advice really well.....I asked her to be on I'm Not Lying because since I've started this blog, I've been getting a lot of emails and PM's regarding transitioning, and I thought I'd let ya'll get it "sKraigt" from the source. It's been 7 years since I transitioned (BC'd in 2002 after transitioning for a year) and there are some experiences that, frankly I've forgotten...So enjoy!!!!

For how long did you relax your hair? from about 7th grade. my paternal aunts did it b/c my hair was "too hard"...not that they were responsible for fixing my hair or anything.

What made you want to stop? 1. my hair never looked perm. I am sick and tired of walking out of the salon or wherever and have people who know me say..."girl when you gonna perm this?". that was just annoying on so many levels! 2. my scalp is UBER sensitive and I have suffered sooo many burns from relaxers over the years...NOTHING worked and b/c my hair was so course, I couldn't use 'mild' relaxers.3 . I have been fascinated with natural since about 12th grade..just never thought I could hack it..cause I was always told "your hair is so hard/thick/course- you need a perm"

How do you feel about the transition process? very excited. at first I was scared i would always look like a HAM and people would be negative but I have found a good supportive 'network' and that has helped me to change my own outlook.

Do you have challenges? keeping my hands out of it...I wanna see roots and get rid of the relaxed ends NOW. but seriously, my hair has always been thick and full and healthy. so far so good- no challengesWhat do you think you will gain by not relaxing? FREEDOM. I used to literally have to psyc myself up to get relaxers and I was very limited. I am looking forward to being a chameleon, to no more burned scalps and for my hair to thrive!

What are some changes that you have made already? (overall health, length, etc.) i've stopped/minimized using products with sulphates and petroleum. for the past 6 wks I have been using more homemade treatments/conditioners. and now I am wearing a sew-in weave as a protective style.

How long are you planning to transition? 15 mons...with mini cuts in between styles. If I have sufficient length by the 12 month mark, I will probably cut!

Have you had any surprises or “ah-ha!” moments regarding your hair, products, etc.???? sooo many but most about products and hair care. I am so much more educated now about overall hair/skin care since I seriously began considering transitioning. I haven't had any surprises yet specifically with my hair. I feel this is like being pregnant and choosing not to find out what sex your baby will be!

Thanks GIA!!!

Gia is doing great with her transition!!! I love the versatility with her styling. She's not just sticking to weaving or straightening...She's mixing it up, which is a good thing, in my opinion. She's getting the opportunity to learn how to style her hair, use better products and learn some serious patience! Look at her cuteness!!!!

me experimenting with braids...i've always tried to 'stretch' perms..this was me expanding my options...before I officially decided to transition..

my love for straw set. my thick hair always gives a nice curl that lasts for about 2weeks..I'll definitely be using this style during this transtition...

Cornrows at night....

now..by day. this usually last about 2-3 days depending on whether or not I exercise...

Currently the sew-in....

Transitioning

I LOVE to hear women tell me they are going to stop relaxing their hair. Back when I went natural in 2002, I didn't know anyone who transitioned. It was such a foreign concept in my world. Now, only 6 years later, it seems like EVERYONE is transitioning. I know that's an exaggeration, but it really feels that way. At work, there are 3 women at different stages of transitioning that I've been helping from their decision to now. Whenever I meet people, I always get the "I really want to go natural, but I'm scared" responses, or I get "How did you go natural?" questions. I've seen some naturals get offended by it as if we're some science project, but it doesn't offend me at all. The more the merrier is my thought process, and even more I wish I had someone to help me when I made the same decision...

Transitioning takes a certain type of mindset. It takes courage, patience, and seriously thick skin. It takes a lot of humility as you literally have to throw away everything you think you know about hair and start anew. And finally, it takes acceptance. Accepting (finally...) what God has made and loving it. Transitioning involves not only ones hair, but ones mind as well...

Once you decide to transition, you'll need to decide HOW you want to do it. Many people choose to transition in different ways...Some choose to wear braids or weaves, some choose to straighten, while others (like me) choose to just let it grow out without the aforementioned...Each of these methods has pros and cons, and knowing what they are can help you decide HOW you want to go about the process...And truth be told, you can choose to do all three of them throughout your transition.

Braids and Weaves:

Wearing braids and weaves allows you to pretty much stay out of your hair. They give your hair the much needed rest from the abuse of combing and heat. They help you get used to the idea of not relaxing. They're like a security blanket. The down side of these is that you're not giving yourself a chance to learn about what's going on with your hair while it's growing out. You may find that when you FINALLY take the braids and weaves out you're overwhelmed by the texture, unsure of how to style it, unsure of what to use on it, and still very insecure about its length and texture. Also, braids and weaves can be quite damaging if worn too long and too often. Too tight braids pulling your hair out and just the sheer weight of the braids can weaken your already tramatized tresses...Give your hair long periods of rest between them, and get them done professionally, please. Let the folks who do these styles, professionally tell you how to maintain them...

Straightening the new growth and gradually chopping or trimming the relaxer out:

Surprisingly, this would seem like the easiest and most popular process, because it seems like it's more of the same, but of all of the women that I help with transitioning, this is done the least. I'm not sure why. I'm confident that it's just in my circle as there are so many websites that I've seen where women go natural this way. Straightening while transitioning allows you to keep doing what you've always done, you're only changing one major thing...Relaxing...You still get to wear your hair straight, and if this is most important to you, this seems the best choice. The flip side to this is that at the end of the day, you still may not be learning about YOUR hair. Heat styling WILL damage your natural texture over time (it can take heat ONE time to jack your texture), and keep it from thriving and being as healthy as it can be. This blog is about living without the LYE, so I totally understand women who choose to wear their hair in straight styles. If you choose to transition by getting it straightened, understand what that entails. Two of my really good friends are naturals with hair to the middle of their backs...They've NEVER had a relaxer, yet they've always wore their hair straightened. They've learned their hair...They practice good hair care...They both only use heat once every week or every two weeks when they get it washed and conditioned. They wear protective styles. They don't use harsh products like hairsprays and alcohol laden gels, they don't wear braids, weaves, or anything that may add additional stress to their tresses...

Just letting it "do what it do":

This is what I did. Folks that let it grow out and learn to work with the 2 textures are a very special bunch. This process requires the most patience, humility, and thickest of skin. Women transitioning this way are the ones who hear "Girl, whatchu doin' to your hair?" the most...We're the ones who go from looking a HAM one day to "Dannnnggg, your hair is HAWT", once we learn how to do a twist out or straw set with the two textures. We get to wake up in the morning, part our hair and giggle at alllllll the "new growth"...This transitioner is better eased into her naturalness (IMO). There is no security blanket of braids or weaves or the mask of straightening the new growth to keep us shielded from our God-given tresses...The downside to doing this is that it's frustrating dealing with the 2 textures consistently. You sometime experience breaking because of the fight with the 2 textures, and styling may be more of challenge.


Decide how long you're going to transition. Set a goal date for yourself. Some people transition for weeks and wear the shortest of short TWAs (Teeny Weeny Afro), while some transition for a year or more. Decide the length of the transition, but don't beat yourself up if you need to extend it, and go get yourself some chocolate if you decide to shorten the time...It's all up to you. Setting a goal for the ending of the transition helps with the process...

If you decide to straighten, plllllleeeeeaaaaasssseeee don't let it just break off. Please do deep trims and "mini chops" to get the relaxer out. At the end of the day, it's about learning about better hair care, in my opinion, and just letting it break off is NOT a good start to that....

Find a hair buddy or mentor to help you with your transition. Hopefully this person has similar hair goals as you. For example, if you're dead set against straighening, your mentor shouldn't be someone who's ALWAYS straightend their hair...

Be realistic in your expectations...Better yet, don't have any. Don't have expectations of what your want your hair to look like. When I first started transitioning, I was WISHING for really, really thick hair. I thought that the relaxer kept my hair really fine...Guess what? I just have fine hair...I was majorly disappointed when I couldn't get a for real, for real big afro...I could get one, but it soon started flopping over...I never have been able to wear really cute twists...My hair is just too fine. I've learned to accept that, and as a result, I've learned to just let my hair "do what it does", and that's when I feel it's most fabulous.

Understand that going natural is not going to benefit your wallet necessarily...Sure you're not going to have to spend the next million years in the salon, shelling out a millions to get your hair "did", but you WILL be spending money on the next "it" cream you heard about...It's inevitable. We all do it...I've spend a small fortune on hair products over the years learning what I did and didn't like on my hair. And if you're getting braids and weaves, you know how much that can cost to get them done. Understand it...accept it...

Start playing with your hair. As the new growth comes in, don't turn your nose up at the "puffiness", rather begin to see that it's getting you closer to your goal. Stand in the mirror and look at the "new growth" and cheer those napps on...Seriously...Repeat after me, "MORE NAPPS, MORE NAPPS, MORE NAPPS!!!" LOL...The more new growth I got the more I got the "itch" to chop. I started trying to style only the natural part of my hair to see what it was going to do, lol...

Commit to using better products. Better products are going to cost more than the crap we've been using over the years...I have a girl friend who is transitioning and I sent her to a couple of sites for products and you would have thought I asked her to rob a bank. She said, "Girl, those products are too expensive!!!" I was like, "Dude, you JUST stopped shelling out $45 to $65 every two weeks at the salon for a wash, blow dry and flat iron...Those products may cost about the same, but they'll last you like....4 to 6 months???" She quickly did the math in her head and said, "OOps...My bad..." Yeah...We've GOT to do better in this department. We've gone from shelling out major dollars for our hair in its relaxed state to scared to peel off a dollar for products that will actually help our situation out. Better products include using sulfate free shampoos, conditioners and hair moisturizers that contain TONS of natural oils and butters...Companies like: Carol's Daughter, Curls, Oyin, Quemet Biologics, Long Lovely Locks, ABBA, Eucelene, My HoneyChild, Anita Grant, Treasured Locks, Aubrey's Organics, Nadia, J/A/S/O/N, Burts Bee's and sooo many others, make very good products for our hair without the harsh, crappy ingredients.

Start documenting your progress. This was MOST helpful for me. I didn't learn about hair sites and hair albums until 2 years after I chopped all my relaxer off, but I would have LOVED to document what was going on. Once I started documenting the size of my afros, I became soooo excited about my decision. Documenting the progress wil help to keep the spark alive...ESPECIALLY on those days when you feel like saying "THE HECK WITH THIS"...You can pull up pictures of yourself at different stages and see how far you've come...You can look at pictures when you were REALLY, REALLY struggling and say, "Oh, okay...TODAY isn't THAT bad ..." It gives you a great point of reference...

And finally, relax! It's all going to work out in the end...

The IT Girl

This Tia...

Tia is that natural chick that you ALWAYS wanted hair like hers...She's always wearing it in some fly style, and you just want to walk up to her and sink your fingers into her Fro. She's that chick that you look at sideways and suck your teeth and say, "She think she cute...." She's also the same diva that people always talk to her hair...(If you've never gotten your hair talked to, it's an interesting experience, trust)...

Tia is gracing the blog with a new perspective...SOMEBODY WHO HAS NEVA, EVA HAD A RELAXER (*shocks*)

Introducing, MRS. Tia...

How long have you been natural?-Since the day I was born. My mother never relaxed her hair or ours.

How do you describe your hair?-THICK! I am not sure about the type because 3 different textures going on. The back looks like I have 'mixed' hair, the sides are really curly but the middle is kinky.

Favorite products?-Shea butter. My number one must have. I use it every way possible.

I wonder how many people ask her if that puff is real????

Worst product you've ever used? Why?-Hair spray aka 'Spritz'. I can't stand the stuff. It made my hair hard, brittle, sticky, and just plan sick looking.

How do you wear it for work?-I love my puff and a twist out for work. They are both really quick to do. Just fluff and go.

How often do you wash and condition?-I don't shampoo often but I do co-wash 1-3 times a week. In the summer I may actually co wash everyday but that is because I sweat. As far as shampooing I try not to do it more than every other week unless my hair really needs cleansing.

What do you love about your hair?-The versatility. I feel like I can do so much more with my hair in its natural state and I love the fact that I don't blend in with the crowd. No one remembers the girl with the straight hair but if you have a huge fro you get all the attention.

Fro so big you can barely get it in the picture....

Do you have any hair goals?-Only to continue to have healthier hair. I am considering locs but that is still up in the air. I have reached the length I desired and I am very happy with what I have.

What is (are) your staple style (s)?-That changes with the season. In the spring I rock twists and cornrows, in the summer wash n go's, then in the fall and winter twist outs & braid outs.

Can you believe she did these HERSELF!!!!!!!

Do you have any hair challenges? -Not really. I need one. Any suggestions?

Any advice to transisitioners or newly naturals?-Don't do everything that everyone tells you. Your hair is different from the next, so trial and error should be your best friend until you find out what your hair likes. Also, being natural is more than just a fashion statement-it takes time, effort, and patience but if you stay dedicated the results will be worth it.

Product site...

Sorry I've been gone for a minute...Been working on my wedding pictures...You know, for all the email's I get with questions and such, y'all show can't comment on the dang blog...(ree rolls eyes and smacks lips)...Anyhoo...back on track now...

One of my online BFF's (Mo) hipped me to this site. http://www.etaeproducts.com/. She swears by the caramel product. The site's discription of the product says:

Deep penetrating, reconstructing hair treatment. It contains olive oil, honey, and other natural ingredients that contain vitamins and minerals. Carmel strengthens, conditions, and moisturizes the hair leaving it soft, shiny, bouncy, and full of life.

Mo says this stuff is the bomb.com...I'm very tempted to try it..Only problem is that the site doesn't have the size of the product, and it's a bit pricey...$15.00 for something...not sure...an ounce..a gallon...what???

I'm going to contact them to find out the size of that bottle before I purchase...Stay tuned...